When I stood at the altar at 19 and said “I do” I never dreamed I’d be divorced one day. But life plays out and things happen and we each respond to those things and every response and every decision takes us to a destination. Some of the destinations are beautiful and some not so great.
I have learned to make the not so great places beautiful. You can live in a shack and turn it into a palace if you choose to. The house I live in is not the best place I have lived. Believe me I have lived in some beautiful homes and not so beautiful. I came home from work yesterday and my amazing daughter Kendall took it upon herself to open the gallon of yellow paint I had purchased and paint the hallway. What a difference a coat of sunshine yellow paint makes. My ugly little house transformed into a cute little cottage. A little paint here a little pain there, a plant here…and love everywhere. You know how it works.
The best decoration you can give any destination is love. Love covers over a multitude of sins. Yeshua told the rich young ruler to sell everything he had and give it to the poor. He said the greatest commandment was to love the Lord your God with all your heart all your strength and all your mind. He said to love your neighbor as yourself. I have a vivid memory of coming home from work one day. I opened the door and my eldest daughter Autumn was sitting on the couch looking sad and forlorn. When she looked up at me her face broke into sudden relief and she announced to her sisters: “Mommy is home.” In her words I bring a happy feeling when I come.
This past week my x husband had to have a pretty serious surgery. I got up early every morning and prayed for him. I drove him to the hospital and sat in the waiting area with his amazing girlfriend and my x in laws. We waited and laughed at some of the funny moments when the nurse asked which one if us was his wife. He got a funny grin on his face and said, Well this is my x wife and this is my girlfriend. When they asked him who was to make the decision concerning life support should the unthinkable happen, he said my x wife my girlfriend and my dad will decide together. And yes, if that had happened we could have decided together because we all had a common ground. We all love the man lying in the bed awaiting surgery. We all had a special unique love for him that superseded any awkward moment. Hatred, bitterness and revenge are not beautiful home improvements. There is no place for them in our lives.
Divorce is one of those not so great places. If you find yourself there, you can make some home improvements and turn it into a comfortable, loving and welcoming place. It’s truly the way things should be.