Saturday, August 21, 2010


I’m home again and for the first time sense I arrived back at the old address I have a moment to reflect. For weeks I counted down the days to my coveted vacation. A month in Tennessee to reconnect with my family and my southern roots, to kick off my shoes and be a hillbilly all over again, to sit on mommas deck and watch the fireflies and listen to the crickets, frogs and cicadas; a month to inhale the humid air and fill my lungs with the scents and smells of the earth. Many times I sat on the swing and lost myself in deep thought. I would ask myself over and over again, where do I belong? Why don’t I live here anymore? Where do I fit in this rotating ball? The answers never came…so I simply enjoyed my visit, laughed out loud, took pictures of everything that caught my eye, danced in the parking lot, (by the way no one will ever see that video) socialized in mamma’s kitchen, got my family addicted to LOST, visited the old historical parts of the town, traipsed all over the old haunted Beesley property, went to an acoustical concert in the tiny town of Wartrace, and visited my aunt Dot who is 90 years old and is addicted to facebook! And yes I continued submitting my book to agents and every now and then I actually got a chance to write on my new project. The month went by too fast and before I realized it was time to return home.
I was faced with one of those moments…you know the kind when you are desperately wanting change and you think something miraculous will happen while you are out of your routine and once you return home things will be different. In a sense I did not want to “go fishing” I use that phrase because it is a story in the Bible I relate to probably more than any of the other God encounters I read. It’s found in the book of John chapter 21. After three years of traveling with Yeshua and seeing so many amazing and miraculous life changing events….it seems to be over. So Peter shrugs his shoulders and says well, I guess I am going back….
Simon Peter announced, "I'm going fishing."
The rest of them replied, "We're going with you." They went out and got in the boat. They caught nothing that night. When the sun came up, Jesus was standing on the beach, but they didn't recognize him.
There they are again back at the start. Doing the same ole same ole like they were when Yeshua met them and called them away on an adventure of a lifetime, after He gave them the secrets of life…they go back. But when they went back, nothing in that life had changed. They were still yielding the same pitiful results and what’s worse when the sun came up Yeshua was on the shore in plain sight and they didn’t recognize him.
So here I sit…on my dumb ole boat, yielding the same pitiful results as before. I look around…is he so close and am I looking straight at him and do not recognize him?

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Something my daughter wrote.....

Today I am posting a beautiful piece written by my daughter Brittany. It spoke to me and I think its a treasure worth sharing :)

One of my favorite things about being in an airplane thousands of feet in the air, is looking out the window. I have always been intrigued by the way things look from up above.I love to see the "big picture" it reminds me of how small I am.It also reminds me of how things can appear so differently, depending on your perspective.A while ago, I was flying back from Wisconsin.I was looking out the window as we flew over a city.I noticed that we as humans put everything in perfectly shaped patches and squares.Everything is measured so accurately with lines and expected patterns. The freeways and the streets all intersect at foreseeable times. Even the grass fields are purposely cut off at designated areas. Everything is controlled with the human mindset of parallel lines and boxes.And then we flew over a river... something humans had no control over.Its pattern was wild and unpredictable. There were beautiful swirls and squiggles.There was no rhyme or reason to any of it.With all of the human tools and reasoning in the world, the pattern of that river will never make logical sense to us.As I was comparing our workmanship to Gods, I realized this was a picture He had been painting for me.We as humans have spent our lives trying to put Him into boxes of our understanding and reasoning.Why? Because we are more comfortable with Him there.We squeeze Him into places He isn't meant to fit into and then wonder why our relationship with Him is dull and lifeless.We long for Him to romance us with beauty and mystery... but then we get scared because we can't wrap our minds around it.And so we try to find reasons and answers for everything.We shove Him into spaces He will simply never fit.And little by little, we create a world without mountains and rivers.And although the flatland is boring, we prefer it because it makes sense to us.Because we can draw lines around it and live in the comfort of our circles and squares.Seeing this was a huge reminder to me that the Lord desires more for us.That is why He takes us to places we don't understand.Sometimes it requires patience on our end.Sometimes getting us there is the most confusing part.We don't understand the twists and the turns of His plan.In our realm of understanding we go from point A to point B.But God is not confined by our numbers and our systematic thinking.And we wouldn't be ready for what He has for us if we walked in straight lines.Every corner we turn is preparing us for something.He works outside the realm of our understanding to grow our faith and to teach us to trust.Because His ways are not our ways.He wants to take us to the unfathomable, intangible places and show us the splendor of His glory.The only problem is... we are afraid.So we have to ask ourselves this question ... what is scarier?Following God outside the realm of my understanding.Or following a God who fits inside a box that I created.I think we all know the answer to that one.Lets be bold. Lets follow Him into the unknown.It may seem risky... but that is where our faith comes in